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Monday, May 7, 2012

Living slowly

My mind had quite the trip this weekend.  You see, today is May 7th.  On this day in 2011, I walked across the stage, got a hug from President Wallace, shook his hand, and walked back onto the field at Cougar Stadium, signifying the end of my 4 years as an APU undergraduate.  It's been a whole year.



As the class of 2012 began posting pictures in caps and gowns on Saturday, I was confused.  I just did that a few months ago.  It can't already be time for another batch to enter the post-university world.  That was easily the fastest 12 months of my life.


Then I thought this: if last year went this quickly, and time keeps accelerating as life goes on, then the 2 years that will pass before I cross that stage at Oregon State will probably feel like a few heartbeats.

One would think that this theory would cause me to want to cram every tiny thing into each moment I have--especially with less than 2 months left in Austria.  But I came across an old journal today, and found this, from The Life You Always Wanted by John Ortberg:

"We suffer from what has come to be known as 'hurry sickness.'  One of the great illusions of our day is that hurrying will buy us more time.  Ironically, all our efforts have not produced what we're after: a sense of what we might call 'timefullness,' a sense of having enough time.  We often experience the opposite."

I think that here, I have learned to live slowly.  To not rush, to not put productivity on a pedestal.  I'm not saying productivity is a bad thing, but doing things for the sake of checking them off a long list has lost its appeal to me.  I've learned to prioritize, and not to let a minor unfinished thing tip my emotional scale.  I save time each day to read, to listen to a song, to sit and just think.  

We'll see how deeply I've engrained this into my habits once grad school begins to pile the books on my desk, but it's a good lesson to remember.  Somebody remind me to reread my words when I can't see the never ending text through my tears of stress next year.

Grace and peace,
Hilary

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