Hungarian High

Goodness, gracious, I know some pretty wonderful people.  I'm still on a high from my week in Hungary.  The emotional price for living so far from home can be pretty hefty sometimes, but I realize how worthwhile it is when I reconnect with those from my "other homes."

I had a few days off because of a national holiday last week.  Elisabeth suggested I do a trip during that week, because I wouldn't have to take vacation time.  The day after we talked about that, I got an email from the bus company I used to visit Hungary in June.  50% discount on tickets to Budapest.  THEN, one of my old Hungarian classmates posted in our class facebook group, suggesting we have a little reunion--for the very weekend I'd be in Hungary.  Sounded like a fantastic combination to me, so I went ahead and bought my round trip tickets for a whopping $12.87.

THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS!  $12.87.  That's less than I pay for the round trip ticket from Hollabrunn to Vienna every weekend.

My time there was such a thrill!  I spent a couple days in Budapest with Levi and Zsombi--once again enjoying the sights that I know, but still just as impressed with them as the first time I discovered them 5 1/2 years ago.  I stand by what I've said time and time again: Budapest is one of the most beautiful cities I've seen!  The beautifully lit buildings by night, charming, cozy cafes by day, the Danube, the parliament, the Buda hills and castle.

When Zsombi's dad happened to be in Budapest and driving to Debrecen, so we caught a ride with him there and my excitement multiplied.  I do love Budapest, but the people I care for most live in Debrecen. I got to see 2 of my 3 host families, plus my "honorary" host family.  We strolled through the city center, walked the dog through the botanical gardens behind the university (but don't tell anyone!  The sweet old man just (ahem) looked the other way when we brought in the pup), ate at old restaurants and just enjoyed "home."

I was so nervous about my class get together!  The 2 classmates I still talk with the most (and who I've gotten together with the last couple times I've visited) had to stay in Budapest for work, so they weren't coming.  I've only been sporadically in touch with a few of the others, thanks to facebook.  These classmates focused on German in high school, so just chatting away in English wasn't an option.  And yes, I can speak Hungarian, but it was so intimidating to think about a whole night of catching up with these people, even if it weren't in another language.

My nerves were all for naught.  I can't believe how much I enjoyed myself!  Classmates greeted me by name, they looked genuinely happy to see me, they were interested in my life and I just heard all night long how good my Hungarian still is.  Flattery, I must say, is a great stress reliever in situations like this.  After chatting with my old friends, those 5 years didn't seem like such a long time.

 
I spent my last couple days up north in Eger, in the wine region of Hungary.  My honorary host family decided to make a little family vacation up there for their Fall Break, and I was invited along.  Oh, my friends, it was just breathtaking.  The trees were showing off their deep red, loud orange and lemony yellow leaves, leaving me constantly wide-eyed and open-mouthed.  We saw natural hot springs and went to an 800 year old (!!!) abbey in the hills.

Then I had the pleasure of figuring out how to eat the village's specialty.  A whole trout on my plate.

It was a fast 6 days, but a breath of fresh air out of my Austrian routine.  I can't wait to go back to see them again in a couple months!

Grace and peace,
Hilary

Teehee

You know what is a fantastic feeling?  Watching TV in another language and laughing at the right time.  It's such a simple thing, but it makes my evening.  For the first month or two here in Austria, I'd always laugh a couple seconds after my host family (or never)...you know, figuring out why everyone else is laughing.  But I'm getting the humor, I'm getting puns, I'M GETTING IT!

Ah.  It seriously makes all the hard work worth it.

Grace and peace,
Hilary

P.S.  If you have any desire to see one of my evening shows with the kids, here's Simsala Grimm.  It's a different story from the Brothers Grimm each night--so I'm practicing my German AND learning new fairy tales!  And with English subtitles for you =)

Grateful

A friend that I met in South Africa posted a picture on Facebook from his home country of Nigeria.  It was a very graphic image of rows and rows of Nigerian corpses, being observed by a few living.  It wasn't because of the typical explanations that Americans would think of for an African country.  These bodies once belonged to Nigerian Christians.  They were burned alive because of their faith.  

This isn't going to be a post demanding that we storm all of the countries that persecute their citizens for their faith, their skin color, their class or any other reason.  This isn't a post saying, "Hey, send money, these people need us."  I'm not using this to announce my embarkation on a mission trip.  While I think it's important to pray and support and "go," my plea to you is this:

Take a look around you right now.  Think of the people you love and the people who love you.  Think of where you live, what's in your kitchen and pantry right now.  Think of all you're capable of doing.  And if you're a praying person, thank God for it.  Be grateful.  Don't take these things for granted.

A few of the things on my "I'm grateful for" list:

-A healthy body

-Friends who make the effort to show me love even when I'm across the ocean

-My computer, which connects me to home

-My new warm, winter hat

-A group of believers/friends in Vienna

-The right to be a Christian under my country's government

-An untraditional, but extremely supportive set of parents who stand behind me wherever I go

-A job I enjoy, providing enough money on which to love comfortably

-My college degree, and the opportunity to earn another one

-My beautiful siblings (Hope, Hannah, Carson, Lisa) who are the hardest part of being abroad:

Don't wait for Thanksgiving each year to think about these things.  

Grace and peace,

Hilary

The pretty little details

This weekend was a breath of fresh air.  Not that the rest of my days haven't been appreciated, but I just had a feeling this weekend that I haven't had in a while.

I don't feel like the new girl anymore.  I have friends here.  I know how to get around.  I'm not afraid to talk to Austrians in German.  In fact, I kind of just feel like I'm living a normal life, like I belong here now.

I got together with Amie and a couple guys from church this weekend.  We went up to Kahlenberg, where there is a fantastic view of Vienna.  We were up there as the sun went down to enjoy the scenery.  We joked around with each other and laughed the whole time.  We trekked to another spot through the woods in the dusk, hiked down the dang hill in pitch black with only cell phone flashlights and ate Döner in the city center for dinner.  Like a really normal Saturday night hangout.  Like I could do at home.  It just felt wonderful.

Then our Bible study on Sunday was much bigger than usual!  We were 9, and ate a delicious meal together before diving into the story of Abimelech.  If there were a word for the sound of sighing, I'd write that now.  This weekend just felt so good.

My friend Stacie wrote a blog post last week that really hit home.  It was about living.  You can read the whole post here, but I'm going to share what really drove it home for me:

I used to read the last few pages of every book before starting it.... but, after awhile, I decided knowing the end never made the book any better. I never really understood the weight of that last page anyway...at least until I had the feeling and momentum of the entire book to back it up. I think life is a lot like that. Skipping ahead isn't realistic and, even if it was, it wouldn't be grand or appreciated. To appreciate the here and now, means living fully in the moments it took to get here.

Amen, sister!  Though I am still terribly excited at the thoughts and possibilities of grad school next year, I feel that lately, I've come to not only understand the point that Stacie has so eloquently made, but to apply it.   I have all the freedom in the world to anticipate the end of the book, or in my case the beginning of the next chapter.  I can do that and still be happy--that's what I'm doing now.  But if I'm so focused on getting to the next chapter that I'm missing the beauty in the syntax and the language of the current one, then what difference does it make if I just don't bother reading it at all?

So, family and friends, rest assured that I am "living fully" in these moments.  That way, when I get to wherever it is I'm going, I'll be able to smile at the details of the paths it took to get me there.

Grace and peace,
Hilary

Fickle

I'm someone who has grown accustomed to change.  I don't necessarily like it much, but I'd say I'm a pretty adaptable individual.  My upbringing and curious nature are to blame to credit for this characteristic of mine.

My parents are divorced.  Oh, no, this is no woe-is-me-because-I-am-a-child-from-a-broken-home post.  Firstly, broken is the last word I'd use to describe my family.  I'd say it's more of a mosaic.  Secondly, no "woes," please.  As crazy as you may call me, I think I'm lucky to have the family situation that I do.  In fact, one of my favorite songs to sing in the car as a youngster went, "I have a mommy.  I have a daddy.  I have a step-mom and step-dad.  I am so lucky--I have 4 parents!  I'm a lucky, lucky girl."  The verses went on to include my step-brothers and half-sister.  I could sing it now and include my adopted siblings and former-step-relatives, but I presume that's more of a, "Hey, let's go get coffee and I'll explain to you my wacky family tree" kind of story.

I'm getting off-track here.  I mentioned the family because I grew up living in 3 different houses.  Not because we moved--I mean 3 houses at the same time.  I'd spend a few days at Mom's house, Dad's house and Patti's house each week, having toothbrushes at each house and usually a fraction of my wardrobe in each closet.  (You can imagine how thrilled I was once I got my driver's license.  Forgot my favorite pair of Converse at Dad's?  No longer a meltdown.)

I was never in one spot for too long.  By the time I got sick of the view out my bedroom window at Mom's, it was already my day to be picked up by Dad for a few days.  It definitely wasn't boring, I can tell you that.

Then I graduated high school.  Even so, I haven't lived in one place for longer than 8 1/2 months since then.  Even during my exchange in Hungary I lived with 3 families for 3-4 months each.  Then my years in college and my study abroad in South Africa.  Here I am in Austria--funny to think that I'll break my record with only one year here.

So you see?  I haven't really had to commit to anything for too long...ever.  And I think that's why I'm feeling so fickle these days.

At one moment, I'll be thinking, "Yeah, grad school for sure next year.  Better get on asking for those letters of recommendation."  Then thinking, "No, finish paying for undergrad first.  Wouldn't it be nice to have a job and live somewhere for more than a year?"  And then I'll see a new program and get excited about working with college students all over again.

My latest teaser is Oregon State.  First of all, Oregon--hello, beautiful!  Corvallis isn't too terribly far from my loved ones in Eureka.  It's not a horribly long plane ride from friends in the Bay and LA.  It satisfies my tree/mountain/river requirement.  And with a graduate assistantship, there's a fantastic little thing called a tuition waiver.  Who doesn't like the sound of that?

Aaaah, there are so many options!  One of my LEAST favorite assignments from any professor in college or any teacher in high school was this:  Write me a [insert number] page paper on the topic of your choice.  How the heck do you choose?  Give me something to narrow it down, won't you?  Well, now here's that dumb assignment popping back up again, but this time it's not for a class.  It's for life.

So...here is what's on my radar for next year:

Option A:  Move to a new city, pray that I find a job
Option B:  Apply and hope to get accepted to a Higher Education grad program with a decent tuition reduction (or waiver) for a grad assistantship
Option C:  Move home to work for a few months (typed with gritted teeth) before finding a job elsewhere to save some money because it is not a sign of weakness, rather  a sign of the times--after all, 85% of my fellow 2011 graduates said they were planning on it.

Thoughts?  Advice?  Funny joke just to lighten things up?

Grace and peace,
Hilary

Wills and Won'ts

As my Facebook newsfeed is bombarded with status updates about being back at APU, Cougar football games, the renovations of the Caf and Cougar walk, pictures in 7 Palms, by the UP pool, at the trolley stops, I can't seem to drown out that tiny voice saying, "Man, I wish I were there, too."

But (I keep reminding myself), with another year at APU comes a list of things that are not my favorite.  So here are some things I won't be doing this year:

-Tediously searching library databases to comb through 20+ page research articles
-Writing the dreaded Senior Seminar Thesis Paper
-Slaving over PowerPoint preparing for speeches and presentations
-Mediating residents' roommate conflicts
-Eating mass produced Caf food
-Battling a few thousand other students for the best classes at registration time
-Stumbling up the awkward West Campus steps when late for class

and on an optimistic note, here are some things I will be doing this year:

-Constantly improving my German
-Frequently visiting my old host families and friends in Hungary
-Living in Europe(!!)
-Doing crafts, singing songs, playing dress-up (and getting PAID to do it!)
-Country-hopping with one of my best friends
-Eating fresh bread whenever I want it
-Exploring Vienna every weekend
-Always trying my best to focus on the good things in life

Grace and peace,
Hilary

Déjà vu

Oh, hey September.  Where did you come from??

I left home over 2 1/2 months ago.  I have been in Hollabrunn for exactly 2 months from yesterday.  What?  A sixth of my time here has already slipped through my fingers?  Some days seem to drag at a snail's pace. But in general, they kind of melt together so that before I know it, it's the weekend and I have another week under my belt.

Alright, friends, here comes some honesty:  I'm a bit homesick.  This whole week I've been in a little bit of a slump.  It might be the 2 month marker.  It could be that the wedding of 2 very dear friends is tomorrow, and so many people I love are together right now without me.  It could be that my siblings have started new school years and my baby sisters are now big, bad 2nd graders.  I think all of these are contributing factors.

But there's one more:  I'm feeling pressure.

Where:

P=Please let me figure this out because I am

F=Far too overwhelmed at

A=All the options thrown at me

The worst part is that it's pressure from myself.  Nobody is pushing me to feel this way.  It's all me.  You see, last year at this time, I was beginning my senior year of college.  I had fantastic friends, a good GPA, interesting classes, a university I loved, I was a freshman RA.  It was all going for me, but there was pressure.  Sure, this year would be fine and dandy, but I had my life* to figure out.  What happened after May 7th?  Grad school?  New job in a new city?  My parents' basement**?

Then I figured it out.  I like traveling.  I like languages.  I like kids.  Being an au pair for the year was the perfect fit.  I was good to go.

But now I find myself back in that very same place.  I've got the "for now" part under control.  But what about next July?  Can I financially swing grad school?  Or will I be able to find a suitable job in a city calling my name?  Do I have to lay low in Eureka for a few months upon my return to see what opportunities are lurking around the corner?

So.  If you are a person who prays, I'm humbly asking for your help.  Not necessarily that everything comes into a neat and orderly line for me to see.  More so for my heart to pay less attention to my brain.  That I'll stop stressing myself out about it.  That I'll remember that I haven't been led astray thus far, and that I'll trust that something will come together.  That I would let my faith be bigger than my fear.  I'd appreciate that a lot.

That's life for me right now.  And I really do promise, I'll give you some snippets of Germany soon.

Grace and peace,
Hilary


*Yes.  I knew I didn't have to figure out my entire life at that point, nor would it have been possible.  I am quite aware of the twists and turns from our chosen and assumed paths.  I recognize that God's sense of humor often causes us to trailblaze.

**My parents don't have a basement.  I'm from Earthquake Country, not Tornado Land.  But you get the idea.